This is not what I had planned.

K so let me preface this post by saying that I know everything I usually write about is really light hearted and fun but this post will be more on the serious side. Let's be honest though not TO serious.

For some reason it was brought to my attention the other day that I will be turning 25 26 here in a few months. *tear*
Yes, yes I know 26 is not old, and I don't think so either.
Its just that if you would have told me that I would still be single and living with my parents at 26 I would have laughed my butt off at you.
I had plans you guys. Not huge career plans or anything like that just plans for what I thought I would be doing and where I would be by this age. And single and living with my parents was not on the Agenda. Not even close.

See, when I was younger I was very innocent/ and or Ignorant (whichever you prefer) and because my parents had gotten married when they were 20 and then had me right away I just assumed that's how my story would unfold also.

I truly believe I was put on this earth to be a wife and a mother. I believe it's what God has called me to do. So when I assumed I would be married and having kids really young I was totally ok with that. Which is probably the reason I hung on to the crazy idea that my life would look just like my parents.
I remember when kids were filling out scholarship applications and trying to pick which college to go to I was daydreaming of when I would meet my husband. I had zero interest in going to college. And some people might think I was just lazy and not motivated but now I know that wasn't it. I just was not called to go to college. Some people just aren't meant to go to college. Whether or not you agree with that I don't really care.

Now fast forward 8 years and I am still daydreaming about meeting my husband and coming up with as many ridiculous baby names as I can. I have people who sometimes ask me "Aren't you supposed to be married with like 3 kids by now?" Well according to my plans yes I was. But thank God that he had different plans for me. Looking back at myself when I was 20 I was so not ready for marriage. If I had gotten married at that age it quite possibly would have been to the wrong person and who knows if it would have lasted. Don't get me wrong I am totally not bashing young marriages at all! I think it's awesome when people find their significant other and are able to get married at a young age, that just means more years you get to spend with them, which is fantastic :)

But.....
I would be lying though if I said I don't occasionally think
"man I just wish I was married already" or......
"omg my eggs are dying, I don't have much baby making time left"
 JK.
 kind of.
But that's when I tell myself that God's plans are greater then mine. He knows what's best for me. It all comes down to having faith in knowing that God does have a plan for me (Jer 29:11) and plans for an abundant life (John 10:10)  and that he has given me the desires that I hold in my heart. And also trusting that his plans are far greater then any plans I could come up with myself.

Side note: I have a bone to pick with everyone that says "You have to be content being by yourself and quit wanting to get married before God will bring you your husband"
Being ok with not having a significant other I do agree with. I don't need a boyfriend/husband to bring me joy, Jesus does that. But I believe the desire to be married is God given and to try and push it aside and pretend its not there is just crazy.
Yes I really, really desire to be married.
Does that make me desperate?
Absolutely not.
If I was I would have probably already settled.

So all of that to say that am not even close to being where I thought I would be at almost 26 years old.
Am I ok with that?
On most days yes because it just makes me excited knowing and anticipating the great things God does have planned for me if I am just patient and obedient to his word. But I mean I'm human so some days I still can allow myself to become bitter about my plans not panning out. And On those days I just take it to God.
When I have negative thoughts come in my head about it I try and nip them in the bud because if allow them to hang around to long they then tend to turn into complaining and so I've found myself recently saying "I want your will, not mine Lord. Have your way in my life"
Sometimes I have to tell myself this several times a day. The more I say it though, the quieter those negative and unsatisfying thoughts are until eventually I don't hear them anymore.
I would suggest trying it the next time something doesn't go your way. I say it even when it's simple things like for example if I thought I was going to have time to take a nap one day and then realized I really wouldn't have time(I like my sleep people!) I will say "Your will, not mine Lord"
In that specific scenario I will say an extra prayer because when I don't have a nap I need a holy spirit intervention to get through the day (but for real). This may seem silly to you but I believe God cares about the little things, like when I am exhausted and my hair is doing that weird poofy/frizzy/ugly thing.

Now you know all the not so secret plans I had for myself when I was 18. And how they didn't happen.
But again, its cool.
What would also be cool is if when you all wish me Happy Birthday this year if you just pretend I am turning 25 again k??
Thanks peeps, you da' best!

Oh look, me jumping for joy and I'm not even married yet. Imagine that.

I'm out.
-Jamie

Pretty Pictures & some Sweetie Brown.

Where else can I unashamedly post several pictures of myself and my sister other then my blog??

No where.

So lucky you ;)

We like to occasionally go out and take pictures of ourselves in new spots as sort of a trial run to take other people's pictures there. I have to admit that my sister takes really great photos and she gets mad because she feels like the ones I take of her aren't as good. Why? because you guys she is 6 feet tall! I am only like 5'7 and photographing super tall people is kind of hard without a step stool or ladder and I always, always forget to bring one with us. I still think her pictures are super cute though, you should tell her how cute they are too :)

{My sister thinks I look like Kacie B. from the Bachelor in these photos...do we agree??}

{obviously there was no need to use the arrows to point out our tattoo's, I just like arrows so get over it k??}

There were a lot more pictures but let's be honest...

uploading them all that is.
Gosh. I love me a sweetie brown meme.
Later Alligator's,
-Jamie

That one time a stray cat gave birth on my porch.

{couldn't leave this post without a good Ron Swanson quote}

So yeah that totally happened.
And I'm gonna tell you about it.
I wanted to try and keep up with blogging through the week but didn't really have anything to write about today so I thought I would tell you a story. A very true story.
I also should preface this by saying that I don't really like cats. Like at all. Sorry if you are reading this and you are a cat lover, no offense I just kind of hate them.


So on to the story.......

About 5 years ago I shared an apartment with 3 of my friends and one night a stray cat made it's way onto our patio, and since one of my roommates was a cat lover she went outside to pet it. She came back in and told us she thought the cat was pregnant. My immediate reaction?? "No way. How would you even know that? Are you a vet or something??" I know rude right? I learned later that evening that it was wrong of me to have such little faith in her cat pregnancy wisdom.

So sure enough later that night the cat went into labor on our porch. OUR PORCH YOU GUYS.
Have you ever seen a cat give birth??
ITS GROSS.
And then you have all these kittens that look like rats crawling all over your patio and you freak out because Hello they were just born why are they crawling everywhere?? They cant even open their eyes yet but they just made it completely across the patio.
Oh and conveniently my roommate who actually likes cats went to bed before the cat ended up giving birth leaving my roommate and I (cat haters) to deal with it. (Thanks Stacy!)
And my other roommate has an extreme & unhealthy fear of rats and mice and since the kittens very closely resembled just that, she was no help either.
So I was left to gather all these kittens who had gone in every direction after they were born without being killed by the mom and put them in a cardboard box.
I felt like I was gathering a bunch of wet rats. Sorry for the visual, but it took everything in me not to vomit.

The cat made our porch her home for an entire day after that and then disappeared. Do cats have pouches they carry their young in like kangaroos or something?? How did she transport all of them to another location?? We will never know.

So the moral of the story is when your roommate tells you a cat is prego, believe her.
AND THEN RUN.
FAR AWAY.
Trust me peeps, not something you want to see.

-Jamie

Those shoes aren't even cute.

That's what Hayden (the little girl I nanny, who I realize I've kept from mentioning until now for some reason) told me when I tried these shoes on at Target.

I bought them anyways though. I've learned not to take her 4 yr old criticism to seriously. Just last week she said I looked like a dog. And although I don't think of myself as a Beauty Queen or anything I'm confident enough to know I don't look like a dog.

Let's get back to the point of this post though. Which was......
Shoes!
Right.
Shoes on Clearance to be exact.
I snagged those boots up there for only $10! Can you believe it?? I couldn't hardly. They were originally $35. I have been eying those puppies since they were first released but wouldn't allow myself to buy them unless I got them on clearance. Last week they were down to $25, but still just couldn't do it. Then yesterday I remembered to check on them again and the heavens opened up and the angels sang as I read the price tag and found they were down to $10! And they had my size!
Also just about a month ago I found these shoes:

for only $5! Yep had my eye on those ones for a while too.
After these two glorious finds I decided I'm never paying full price for shoes at Target again.
What is my trick to finding these great deals you ask??
Visit several targets several times a week. Even several times a day.
Really, that's all there is to it.
I just go to target A LOT.
So basically I am a stalker of sorts.
I wish there was something more scientific to finding good deals but there isn't. I just have a lot of time to kill, so why not kill it finding awesome deals right??
Right.
And if you follow me on Instagram or Twitter I will usually give you a heads up about what's on clearance that week!

On another note I would like to give a big shout out to Self check out. It has made my anti-social personality such a happy camper. Seriously.
BEST.THING.EVER.
I Especially appreciated it yesterday when I had something else along with the shoes I had to buy that isn't always so fun to throw up on the register and have a guy ring you up for.
Ladies, you know what I mean right?? I don't have to actually say it do I?? If you don't know what I'm referring to then send me a message and we will chat ;)

So have you found any great deals at Target recently? Let me know!

Now excuse me, there are target bargains to be found!
-Jamie

New name and New look...sort of.

Yo.
Check it out.
I gave my blog the new name "The Mane"
Why?
There's not really a deep answer for that question.
Sorry.
I want my blog to be the "main place" where all the cool kids come to hang out ya know? Like the Max in saved by the bell or like the Central Perk from Friends.
Except I don't serve Burgers or Coffee. But I can serve you a whole lot of sarcasm and your occasional grammatical error :)
Or maybe even sort of like the Round Table where everyone hung out after football games on Friday nights when I was in High School. Although you obviously didn't really have to be cool to be there because I spent most Friday nights there and let's be honest I wasn't really a member of the cool kids club. I probably still wouldn't be either, I'm 25 and currently sleeping with High School Musical sheets on my bed and a Jonas Brothers Blanket. (I still can't figure out why I'm single)
Anyways, You don't really have to be cool to come and hang out on my blog. I just want you to think my blog is cool OK??
Lie to me if you have to.
I'll lie too and pretend I think you are being really genuine.


It also sort of got a new look. Well as much of a new look as I could give it without knowing hardly a thing about design or how to implement it. Plus my sis took some pretty pictures of me this weekend so I thought I would put them to good use and update my header (which is the only thing I semi know how to make)
This would also be a good time to let any designers out there know that if you would like to give my blog a design make over I totally wouldn't stop you. I can't pay you with actual money but with lots and lots of gratitude and free advertising!!! And maybe girl scout cookies?? I hear those are all the rage right now.

Also I am pretending that there are like loads of people who keep up with my blog and actually read it and will actually comment and let me know what kind of stuff I should write about. Give me some ideas! What would you like to see more of on here?? This is mainly a lifestyle blog but If I am being completely honest my life hasn't been very blog worthy lately, hence the silence around these parts.
But if that's what you like to read then it's what I shall give you!
Want a re-cap of my daily trips to Target??
Or how I live off of Coffee and Turkey Sandwiches??
Maybe some posts about how to come up with clever excuses to avoid ever actually going to the gym??
Want to know how much I really, really hate drinking water and after 2 years without it still crave soda almost daily??
It all sounds pretty lame to me, but again, if that's what you readers want (all 2 of you) (Hey Mom! Hey Sister!) then it shall be given (pressed down, shaken together & running over).

And because I don't really like blog posts without any pictures here's one for you.
Adding some new ink to these bare arms on Thursday and I am overly excited about it. I'm hoping my excitement still outweighs my nerves when it comes time for the needle to actually hit my skin. Wish me luck.

-Jamie

Friday funny girl: Amy Poehler

I love this lady so much.
Seriously.
She really stole my comedy loving heart in her role in "Baby Mama"
(side note: if you haven't seen baby mama stop reading this and go watch it. Or I can just recite the movie from beginning to end for you since I've seen it about a million times. And I'm only slightly exaggerating. My roommate and I used to watch it twice every night before we went to bed. twice people.)

So if you don't know anything about her let me give you a little history lesson on this funny lady.
She was a cast member on SNL from 2001-2009 and we know you have to be funny to be on that show right??
Right.
She also played the crazy mom on mean girls with Tina Fey, who she starred in baby mama with also.
She's been in other movies but I think we can all agree those are the best ones.

And now she stars in one of my favorite shows Parks and Rec that I am so glad they decided to bring back after initially cancelling it.

Things that make me sad about Amy:

-Her and her funny husband Will Arnett are getting a divorce *tear. I was really sad to hear this, they seemed like the perfect pair. Which I know seems crazy because that does not exist in Hollywood, but still. How can 2 funny people go wrong????

-Her and Tina Fey hosted the golden globes earlier this year. Not sad about that but I am sad about the fact that they were not on stage near as much as they should have been. Like why did anyone else even need to present awards?? Just let them present all of them! I really thought it was gonna be like another baby mama but in really fancy dresses, and I was sad when It was not.

She  also appeared in the best buy commercial that was released during the super bowl that I found Hilarious.
Just watch.

"Can I use these with my phone so I can look dope while I call my peeps??"
"What is the cloud?? Where is the cloud?? Are we in the cloud?!?!"
Can I be honest? A lot of those questions she asked I actually wonder myself sometimes :/

So there you have it.
Amy Poehler is one funny lady.
Don't believe me?
Go watch her movies and tv show.
I think you will change your mind.

-Jamie

My current favorite funny girl: Rebel Wilson.

Am I really writing a blog post dedicated specifically to the hilarity that is Rebel Wilson?
Yes, yes I am, because she is that funny.

First of all before you read or watch any further please tell me you have seen pitch perfect. It's ok if you haven't watched it 20 times like I have, just at least once, so you can appreciate her character Fat Amy, or Fat Patricia as we learn later on in the movie.

Also just in case there is the smallest chance that she might read this:
"Rebel! Lets be Bff's! You are probably the coolest most funny person I've never met!"

K now on to the funny.

So did you know that her and her co star Matt Lucas from Bridesmaids are actual real life roommates??
Well they are.
Here is a video of her on Conan reading an angry letter they got from one of their neighbors.

And here you can learn how she decided to become an actress and also how incredibly gangster she is. Whatever gang she is in I wanna be a part of it.

And here is a great scene from pitch perfect:

And here she is actually modeling as a mermaid:

 

She is just fantastic, and has such an awesome name. Not gonna lie, I kinda wanna name one of my kids Rebel now. She also has a sibling named Ryot, which I think is pretty darn cool too. So if I ever have twins don't be surprised when they are named Rebel and Ryot. If anyone would actually do that, I would.

So I had no real point to this post except to expose you to the amazingness that is Rebel Wilson. 

Now go search for more videos of her and watch pitch perfect if you haven't yet, trust me, you will be doing yourself a favor.

-Jamie

PS. thinking of doing a weekly post highlighting famous funny girls. Good idea?? Let me know :)