That one time a stray cat gave birth on my porch.

{couldn't leave this post without a good Ron Swanson quote}

So yeah that totally happened.
And I'm gonna tell you about it.
I wanted to try and keep up with blogging through the week but didn't really have anything to write about today so I thought I would tell you a story. A very true story.
I also should preface this by saying that I don't really like cats. Like at all. Sorry if you are reading this and you are a cat lover, no offense I just kind of hate them.


So on to the story.......

About 5 years ago I shared an apartment with 3 of my friends and one night a stray cat made it's way onto our patio, and since one of my roommates was a cat lover she went outside to pet it. She came back in and told us she thought the cat was pregnant. My immediate reaction?? "No way. How would you even know that? Are you a vet or something??" I know rude right? I learned later that evening that it was wrong of me to have such little faith in her cat pregnancy wisdom.

So sure enough later that night the cat went into labor on our porch. OUR PORCH YOU GUYS.
Have you ever seen a cat give birth??
ITS GROSS.
And then you have all these kittens that look like rats crawling all over your patio and you freak out because Hello they were just born why are they crawling everywhere?? They cant even open their eyes yet but they just made it completely across the patio.
Oh and conveniently my roommate who actually likes cats went to bed before the cat ended up giving birth leaving my roommate and I (cat haters) to deal with it. (Thanks Stacy!)
And my other roommate has an extreme & unhealthy fear of rats and mice and since the kittens very closely resembled just that, she was no help either.
So I was left to gather all these kittens who had gone in every direction after they were born without being killed by the mom and put them in a cardboard box.
I felt like I was gathering a bunch of wet rats. Sorry for the visual, but it took everything in me not to vomit.

The cat made our porch her home for an entire day after that and then disappeared. Do cats have pouches they carry their young in like kangaroos or something?? How did she transport all of them to another location?? We will never know.

So the moral of the story is when your roommate tells you a cat is prego, believe her.
AND THEN RUN.
FAR AWAY.
Trust me peeps, not something you want to see.

-Jamie